Cause I can’t get my brain to stop working.
General warning — discussing sex.
You know what grinds my gears — my cousin got pregnant at 16. Had sex like twice. My brother was an accident when my mom was 18. My aunt had a whoops with my cousin at 17. My Nana oopsed with my dad at 16 and my other nana got kocked up with my mom right out of Catholic school.
I spent the entirety of my sexual activity up until two months ago trying to avoid the pregnancy pitfalls of my family — getting pregnant on accident.
Now, I’m going to be 31 in nine days and my HB is 33 and we’re trying to have a baby.
I got my IUD out on 7/22. I had been taking prenatal vitamins since may. No drinking. Exercising. Trying to eat right.
I was hopeful the month I got Mirena out. I had a period the week following, followed all my body’s ovulation signals and we went for it.
I was hopeful… because my period was late. 19 days late to be exact. But it was a big fat negative. I legit took 6 pregnancy tests, one of which had a faint line that turned out to be an evaporation line.
And my subsequent true first period after Mirena was effing awful. I cramped up on the way home from walmart while driving and hyperventilated the whole way back. I ate nsaids like candy. Ugh.
I jokingly blamed my pain on my husband.
Obviously, my cycle was still jacked up from my Mirena and I was running roughly 48 day cycles.
This month I didn’t even pay attention to my app and just went with my body’s signals — feeling erascible, mucus checks, body temp.
My app says I’m supposed to start my period in the next week, which is taken with a grain of salt.
But, it just feels anticlimactic. I figured with how fertile my family is I wouldn’t have trouble. Maybe putting too much thought into it?
Also, I’m nesting like whoa. I have pinterest boards dedicated to baby stuff and my own plans.
Things I know I want:
- Cloth diapers
- Breastfeeding
- Making my own baby food
- Nursery set up
I’m just ready. I hope I’m not stressing too much.
cognitivecatthinksof 